I recently went to my high school reunion. A few of the events were a “pub” tent party on the Friday night and a party with entertainment on the Saturday night. Thousands of people attended over the days as it was a multigenerational reunion. In theory it should have been amazing, seeing people I hadn’t seen in years. In reality, it wasn’t quite like that for me.
It’s true that I saw friends from back then, but I have been seeing those same friends off and on over the years. It was lovely to see them again of course but I couldn’t quite find those other people I believed I chummed with. I couldn’t find those people and recall good times. I couldn’t find those people and catch up on their lives. Why is this?
After thinking about it I realized I couldn’t find them because maybe they don’t exist in the numbers I seem to remember. I suppose I had friends but I didn’t have friends. I dated my husband throughout high school so most of the memories and good times are limited to a smaller group of people … those same people I see from time to time.
But with anything there are exceptions. And I knew if I found those few exceptions it would make a difference in my overall experience. And, thankfully on the second night of celebration I did manage to find a couple of those few exceptions and spent some time catching up. Though there were a couple people that I kept missing, it was still heart warming to have at least found a few of my high school pals.
I also saw some people both nights that after leaving those halls of high school I had hoped not to engage with again. So I spent some time skirting the crowd, turning away and wondering how I ended up in their general vicinity despite my best efforts to avoid it. I know the impression I’m giving of myself isn’t stellar but I felt my actions were necessary but not fun looking around and thinking “how’d I end up here and how can I escape.”
Yes it appears petty and mean because people can and do change but I wasn’t willing to test that theory. I didn’t want to spend time with someone that once gave me plenty of grief. I wasn’t willing to relive those days again. Been there, done that and suffered at their hands. Back then I felt I had no choice, today the choice was mine.
Until the next time.
I attended the same Saturday Evening event. It was an amazing 100th anniversary of the high school and very cool to wander the halls once again. I enjoyed myself, however, there were so many people from the 2 decades of graduates, that it was difficult finding some friends I haven't been in contact with. I ended up spending most of the time with the group of us that had arranged to meet for dinner prior to the event. Just not enough time to really have spent time catching up any old friends I did find. All in all, I'm glad I went.
I have not been to a high school reunion, but I think I would have spent it feeling the same way you did. I have some great high school memories, but also some not great ones. Either way, I’m happy not to relive it.