There’s an old Kenny Rogers song called The Gambler. One of the verses has always struck me and in times when I’m feeling that things aren’t going the way I’d like I always repeat the words in my mind.
You’ve got to know when to hold’em
Know when to fold’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
And whenever I have cause to repeat them I know the situation is precarious. It needs to be assessed in order to determine the best way to either extricate myself from it, improve it or turn it around.
I’ve found there are times when things can be worked out by meaningful discussion. And there are times when nothing helps the situation.
So one decides … do you fold’em? Does one stop the discussion and agree to disagree. And do not discuss it again. Especially if they’re a friend. At this point I think the parties have to be mature enough to understand that everyone has and is entitled to their opinions. Am I right?
Or do you walk away? If the situation cannot be resolved by mutually respectful means, then I’m inclined to walk away. If it involves someone I consider a friend I’d have to carefully review the friendship. Sometimes they end. Sometimes you just grow apart. It’s sad when that happens, but happen it does.
Or do you run? Sometimes there is no alternative. If you’re in the position of always being the person hurt, damaged, demoralized, then what choice do you have? Worse case scenario to me … it’s someone you consider a friend doing this. And if you can’t discuss it or improve it or they don’t respect you or your opinion and they hurt you … then in my opinion, you run. FAST.
And move on with your life.
Until the next time.
Unfortunately we all have had to deal with this situation at times ….I don’t think there’s a cut and dry answer..
As a whole I enjoy differences in people it’s what makes the world go round but if it becomes confrontational and toxic ..I’m out!! Anything that’s negative or does not give me joy is not in my lifes plan now …if it is someone you don’t wish to totally eliminate from your life I just have limited exposure and don’t go near the troublesome topics when together …I keep it cordial as they say
As one gets older we definitely change our values ,our needs and wants in friendship ,associates and yes even family ..I only want love and joy and happiness for all ..I wish no harm or ill on anyone …yes even those that don’t feel the same as me!! Lol!! When one decides to not waste energies and life on toxic situations it makes life simpler and happier !! Yes ..I guess you have to know when to fold them!! Wonderful writing and parallelism to life !
For me it totally depends on who the other person is and whether the relationship is important to me. I've agreed to disagree and not discuss certain topics and I've 'unfriended' others. I don't have as large a circle of friends, coworkers, etc. as I once did, so this only affects a small group. My close family are all on the same page politically (thank goodness!)