A while ago a friend posted a quote on social media I found interesting.
“Never in the history of calm down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.”
Truer words ever spoken. In fact, I posted back that it totally pisses me off to be told to calm down. I get angry and insulted.
In my opinion it implies that I’m not in control of my emotions. It dismisses the point I was trying to make. Most importantly, it dismisses me. And that angers me. I wonder if that’s the case for other people. So I googled.
FACT … I found a quote from a clinical psychologist Dr. Amanda Tadrous who said the reason the ‘calm down card’ affects people is because “it invalidates our emotions, dismissing whatever we’re saying as just getting all worked up over nothing.”
So next time you’re in a debate or argument or someone is ranting and you really want to piss them off, go ahead, tell them to “calm down”. But if you actually want to resolve the situation do not, I repeat, do not utter those words. Rather … listen to them and engage in a meaningful exchange of words. It may make a difference in the outcome. Just my opinion.
Until the next time.
I never ever liked that phrase ….I truly felt all those emotions whenever were told that ….but I actually try to remain calm naturally as I always felt this was far better for my well being …than any type of confrontation….I have my own ideas and remain true to myself and I am not a floor mat but I weigh out the issues important to me in the long term …..I try to practise calmness in my life …some days not so good! Lol!! But overall not too bad !!😊